oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
