I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
