I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize