we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
