We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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