I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize