Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
