Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
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She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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