Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Panties = found
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
