How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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