you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
