she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
