why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
