Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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