Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
