god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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