My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.