As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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