I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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