If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize