margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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