tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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