Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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