Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
