Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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