i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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