we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
