They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
