Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
