Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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