That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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