I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry my hands just texted you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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