are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
