i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
