I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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