One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
