Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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