kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My life is pants optional.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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