im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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