i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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