You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The power of my boobs compel you
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
