So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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