So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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