Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
