I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
