She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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