Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
