I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
