i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
