white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My ass is underappreciated
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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