I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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