A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I faked an abortion last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
