Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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