I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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