Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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