If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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