im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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